I just need to vent out a bit. I'm a bit peeved with Coby right now since HE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. Yeah. Esther and Tin left early last night so Simon stayed behind because he didn't want to go home yet. We talked about a lot of stuff, usual chika plus a bit more interesting and juicy kwentuhan. Around 12, we decided to go to the Mcdonald's near my house to eat ice cream and to talk some more (Hahaha!). Coby wasn't home too so I sent him a message to leave the gate open since I didn't have a key (it was with him). I got home past 3:30. To my surprise, the lights on our gate were turned off..and..OUR GATE WAS LOCKED. I thought my lola woke up and was being her mean self so she locked me out. Nope. To my surprise, it was my brother who did. You can not imagine how difficult it was to climb over our gate. For those of you who have been to my house, you'd agree that with my limited upper body strength, plus my weak legs, it would definitely be hard for me to do that. Thank God I was just so determined to get inside the house that I was able to climb over. Pahirapan. I thought my ordeal was over. But noooo...OUR MAIN DOOR WAS LOCKED, TOO. I wasn't even sure if Coby was home since he told me that he'd be home a bit late. But yeah, he was home..asleep. He got home earlier than I did (obviously). I was trying to wake him up pero ang hirap niya gisingin. I was really being very nice but 15 minutes outside his window with all the mosquitos feasting on me already made me quite irritable already. Of course I had to make my voice louder for him to wake up..and he got mad. Great! I took another 10 minutes before he finally got up from his bed and opened the door. We had an argument, and in the end I won. He said I should've been nicer when I was trying to wake him up. Hello?????? I was trying to wake him up ng maayos for 15 effing minutes pero hindi pa rin siya magising. I had no choice but to make my voice louder so he'd wake up. Whatever talaga.

Okay, I just needed to vent out. I'm fine now.

random shrandom

- My interview at Ipsos Philippines yesterday went well. I hope the company will accept me..Lord I really do hope I get a decent job soon.

- The Hands On Manila Foundation orientation last night was quite interesting. Tintin and I didn't submit our volunteer forms yet because we're still thinking about what program to join. After the orientation, we had dinner at Mr. Rockefeller and talked about a lot of stuff...our hinanakit with the Institute of Poleco, etc..Hahaha! Kasi naman....

- I'm so excited with what I'm going to do for Haribon. Ma'am Beechie, the person I'm reporting to, tasked me to make the new research design for the organization's study on the viability of using green charcoal. Yeeeeesss...You guys have no idea how stoked I am to use my brain for something academic again.

- Seed friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow. Yay! :) I haven't seen Simon in 3 weeks, Esther and Tin in 3 months, and Michiko in...umm..2 years. Hahahaha! I changed my mind about what I'm going to serve. Instead of Thai food, I'll be cooking Spanish food. Next time na lang yung Thai theme.

- I need to buy my own tool box for baking utensils. The kitchen's getting a bit too cramped with all our stuff. Can I just say, I want my own refrigerator din. Kahit a small one lang.

the OC....attack.

I'm fixing up my room again! Yes. OC attack again. I realized that I really wasn't able to get rid of all the clutter in my room when I slowly discovered old readings, notebooks, and the like in almost every area of my little domain. I'm actually thinking about rearranging the beds, tables, and bookshelf. How am I going to manage to do that? I don't know. Hahahaha! No, maybe I won't...but I'm pretty sure that a lot of things could be done to make my room cleaner and more organized. It's not that my room is messy. It's more of me getting rid of old things that I didn't want to let go of because of either sentimental reasons, or for the usual "I-might-need-this-someday" excuse. Other than taking out the trash, so to speak, I have to figure out what are the things that need to be repaired..like my printer, for example. I haven't used it in a year and a half. I'm scared to turn it on and to try using it again because of the possible dust explosion that will happen if I do so. I might as well have it repaired and cleaned so that I can use it again.

Besides my room, I will have to clean our study room too. My lolo has given me the task of spearheading Operation Linis Bahay--meaning after the study room, we'll be cleaning the garage, lolo's "trophy room," the dining room, and the kitchen. YES. I think my lolo was able to come up with that brilliant idea because he noticed all I've been doing is bake, deliver orders, attend job interviews, attend discipleship and accountability meetings..and that's about it. Well, I have been cooking for the family again...not as often as I used to, but still. I haven't quite gotten to starting Operation Linis Bahay yet since I'm concentrated on making over my room. With four cabinets to organize, with shelves to stack with books and binders, and drawers to clear out...I think it'll take maybe three more days before I'll even be able to plan out how we're going to organize the entire house.

...I wish I had my OC attacks during the day, like maybe around 8... and not at 1 a.m.

Oooooh....I have a job interview at 4 p.m later!!!! Yay! Aaaaaand...I'm going to attend the Hands On Manila Foundation orientation for new volunteers tomorrow, and Youth TRiP's LAKWATSYA event on Friday with Tintin. Pluuus...If one more person votes for this Saturday, my gradeschool friends are coming over again for dinner at my house. The menu: Thai food! :) Maybe for our next dinner get-together I'll be serving Jamaican food. Anyway..I have a month to think about that pa naman.

It's just been a week since I last blogged, but I feel like a month has already passed by without me writing an entry. I guess I've been trying to control myself from just posting one and spilling the beans on everything that has happened in the past two weeks. For one thing, I don't really need to blog about everything. I've learned that blog entries are really subjective in the sense that people can interpret it in whatever way they want...even if their interpretation is so far off from what you were trying to say. So it's best to be careful and just blog about the safe stuff..though that defeats the purpose of a blog, di ba? I mean, your blog is supposed to be your journal so nothing should really stop you from writing whatever you want to write about. But no. The cruel reality that people can respond negatively to your entry makes one careful about what he/she is going to write about. So what's the point of having a blog when you can't totally purge? Wala lang :) It's fun to have a blog. As simple as that. When you just want to go on rambling about whatever, even if you leave out a few details--it's still cathartic.

However, I will still blog about how the past two weeks have been for me. Well...the past two weeks have been...amazing :) It's weird that I won't give my usual answer that things are just steady with me right now. Actually, each day I'm just surprised as to how I've been responding to circumstances and to people. Like recently, I thought my financial crisis would be over after this week (yay for me dapat)...until the two phone bills arrived. Good Lord...All I could say was, "What was I thinking???" Yeah. I was so floored with how much I have to pay (again). I've given up my post-paid account with Globe so at least that's out of the picture already. It's just really funny that after I opened both bills and computed how much I have to pay in total, instead of having a panic attack I was just really calm about it. The only thing I could say was, "I think I need to sell more cookies and cupcakes. Okay..I need a game plan." But you know what, God has just been so good. With my recent accountability meetings with Katre, and with what we talked about in our Dgroup meeting..I know that He will be my source of strength to get through this. I'm holding on to Philippians 4:19-20. "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." I don't know how, but each day I'm learning that I should just fully trust Him. He's GOD for crying out loud. Quoting Katre from our accountability meeting last week, "Hello?? He created the freakin' universe. He can do ANYTHING."

It just amazes me that really letting go and letting Him consume me has filled me with so much peace, despite everything that has happened in the past few months. It's so humbling to know that no matter how many times I've stumbled, by His grace I am forgiven. Each day is also a struggle, but I'm just in awe with how He is slowly changing my life. Instead of settling for just taking baby steps, I've been deciding to take leaps in the decisions I've made the past two weeks.

Just...amazing :)

40 minutes

40 minutes before my flight...I'm at the airport now...lapit na!! :) I'm so excited to see my family. Plus, I'm going somewhere far away...more time to think. Hopefully when I go back to Manila this Monday, recharged na ako :)

why oh why, Lorna?!?!?!?

Kinain ni Lorna ang cream cheese. Yung last cream cheese. 1/4 bar na nga lang, kinain pa. Sabi ko nga wag galawain eh...Pero kinain pa rin. Kung mura lang sana ang cream cheese..but no. Php 118.75 ang pinakamurang cream cheese na matino. Wahahahaha alam pa talaga presyo. So paano na yung icing para sa cupcakes na order ni Mon??? Goodluck na lang..hay...why oh why, Lorna talaga....

Wow nagblog lang ako dahil kay Lorna and sa cream cheese. Hahahahaha!

Katre and I were just about to part ways after our accountability session this afternoon when I got a text message from my dad. "Pray for mom, she was diagnosed with pneumonia. Instructd no work and complete bedrest." I couldn't believe what I was reading. My mom was sick. My mom never gets sick.

When I got home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried. I prayed. I cried while I was praying. I was just praying for my mom that she'd be okay soon.

A few minutes ago I got a text message from my lola. My dad's starting to get sick, too. He's been spending so much time in the farm, plus with all the gulo that's been going on over the land--meetings with the other party, court hearings, etc...everything's just starting to take a toll on his body already.

Coby called up lolo to tell him that he's going home to Bukidnon with him this Friday. On my way home, lolo was trying to call me but I didn't notice my phone so I called him up when I got home. He asked if I was going to Bukidnon this Friday, and I said yes. I don't think my mom knows we're going home. My lolo informed my dad that we're going there this Friday, but not to tell mama to surprise her.

My only prayer now is that my parents will be okay...