Seppi and Simon just left my house 20 minutes ago. They were here from 8:30 p.m until 3:30ish. Thank God they were able to visit me here at home. I just love it when I have friends come over for dinner, or whatever. I actually enjoy the process of having to prepare the food for them. Yung tipong pagdecide kung ano yung food, pagprepare ng ingredients, cooking, setting up the dinner table, etc.. Feeling ko I got my love for hosting get-togethers from my mom. Hahahaha! Anyway...It's quite fun to just hang out at home, and have talkathons. It's been a while since I last saw them, and I'm really happy that I was able to spend my Saturday night with good friends :) Nakaka-relax, in a way. I wasn't stressing over orders, and just for a few hours I was able to just not think about the stuff that've been bothering me lately.
I've been friends with Seppi and Simon since the 4th grade. More than a decade of friendship :) A lot of people are actually surprised that I'm still in touch with my grade school friends; more so that I'm still quite close with them. Though we all went to different high schools and colleges, I guess as we grew up, so did our friendship. I mean, for a time we didn't really talk nor see each other that much. It'd take more than a year before we would see each other again. But everytime we would meet up, it'd be like we never really spent that much time apart.
I'm really excited because they're coming over again this coming Saturday. Same thing--dinner and great conversations :) Hopefully, our other friends will be able to join us para mas fun :) I mean, fun naman tonight pero mas masaya pag mas marami :)
Okay..so maiba naman..I woke up after lunch yesterday feeling a bit off..I dunno. I felt like the day didn't start out right. I fell asleep around 3:30 a.m and I woke up past noon already. You'd think I'd feel relaxed since I had more than 8 hours of sleep. But no. I woke up na sobrang bigat ng feeling. Alam ko naman na wala na akong magagawa sa mga bagay na nangyari na, pero it's hard not to feel bad. Instead of feeling bad and sulking the entire day, I decided that I'd have to do something about my situation. A plan of action won't really do anything if wala namang action, di ba? BUT...before I formulated my plan, I had to analyze each of my problems: finances, health, and my once-in-a-while-depression-due-to-feeling-useless-because-I'm-still-unemployed drama. My problem with my finances can only be solved if I keep on baking cookies and cupcakes. But I can't overwork myself with orders because I might get hospitalized. Sobra akong nagkakasakit when I'm stressed--either I have panic attacks resulting to me hyperventilating a lot, or I have asthma attacks. My once-in-a-while-depression-due-to-feeling-useless-because-I'm-still-unemployed drama happens when I'm just stuck at home doing nothing, or minsan nararamdaman ko na pagbebenta ng cookies and cupcakes ang tanging patutunguhan ng buhay ko. And kung tutuusin..my problems/issues don't just affect solely me. Pati ibang tao apektado. Nase-stress and/or naaabala ang ibang tao dahil sa problema ko. My family and close friends also bear the brunt of dealing with my crap.
So..ganito: I've already figured out my system with yung orders ng cookies and cupcakes. Just check my multiply blog for the policies . Hahaha yes naman may policies talaga..kailangan eh. Anyway..yeah, I need a system para I wouldn't be stressed out with too many orders in a day. Kung gusto ko ng mamatay sa stress, okay lang sige ipagpapatuloy ko yung ginagawa kong more than 15 orders (i.e. more than 15 boxes of cookies/cupcakes) a day. Pero I don't want to be hospitalized again, and I don't want my asthma to get worse kasi ang mahaaaal mahal ng gamot. And yes, I need to learn how to not put too much pressure on myself. I tend to think too much about a certain problem or issue, then I end up stressing a lot over it. Okay..going back to my order system..A maximum of 15 orders a day would help me solve my financial problems..and after I've resolved that, I'd have a sort of steady source of income while I'm not working yet. Another thing I've figured out as regards my financial brouhaha..cellphone expenses. I've decided to switch to using a prepaid line. I can't cut my post-paid account kasi wala pang 2 years ang account ko..So I told my mom I'll send her my post-paid sim para mawalan ng temptation to use it again. Starting today, I'll be using my new prepaid line :) My phone bills are just so high. Supposedly 800 lang bill ko every month..umaabot ng...times 7. Yes. My credit card usage issue..medyo resolved na. I gave my credit card to my lola and asked her to keep it--no wait--hide it. The probability of using it when going out is high, since I don't have that much cash to spend kasi..hello naman, wala pa akong trabaho and malamang after grad no more allowance. Karumaldumal naman kung humingi pa ako ng pera sa magulang ko, di ba? Pero parang ganun din kasi gumagamit ako ng credit card--na extension ng card ng mom ko. Ang pangit ng feeling na ma-realize na I've been acting like a spoiled brat tapos ngayon unti-unting pinapamulat na "Hello. Welcome to the real world. You won't get things for free. You need to work for it. Paghirapan mo, bwisit!" So with limited cash, I would have to learn how to budget my money kasi being unemployed, like my eggs--cash as of now is a nonrenewable resource. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry..it's 5 a.m and verbal diarrhea na itech. Pero seriously. Hindi joke. Struggle ito para sa akin. ITO PA. Kailangan ko na talagang seryosohin na bawas-bawasan ko na paggamit ng car. Rrawr!!! Nung na-realize ko na hindi ko pa napapanindigan yung sinabi kong magcocommute na lang ako para hindi sayang sa gas, seryoso nairita talaga ako sa sarili ko. Kahit nag-rollback ang price ng gas, mahal pa rin eh!!! And ang kapal na talaga ng pagmumukha ko na gumamit ng kotse tapos hindi naman ako ang gumagastos para sa gas. As of now, this is all talk and SANA talaga may gawin na ako. Yeah, baby steps muna but there are times I wish I'd take leaps instead. Oh yeah nga pala...My feeling-useless-drama will soon be resolved kasi while wala pa akong job, I'll be doing volunteer work for the Haribon Foundation. Mostly research work, I think. Buti na lang their office is in Cubao, so pwedeng mag-MRT na lang ako. Ayan. Hindi ko kailangan magdala ng car. And magbabaon na lang ako para di ko kailangan bumili ng lunch. And. Magdadala ako ng mug. Siguro naman may kape sila doon. Hahahaha! Buti na lang wala ang lola ko dito kasi wala akong mahihingian ng pera. Nahihiya rin ako humingi ng pera sa lolo ko so no choice talaga. Ganun siguro yun..kailangan wala na talagang options para lang matuto ako.
I think I should post a sign on my wall in my room na nakasulat "This is just the beginning of your rude awakening to the real world...Stop complaining. Start acting like an adult, for crying out loud" Para whenever I start to feel frustrated and start to complain again, I'd just look at the sign para mahiya naman ako sa sarili ko. Kung tutuusin naman kasi...my problems are far less complicated than the problems of other people..na tipong kailangan ko naman mahiya na I often complain about my problems pero ibang tao naman, higit naman na mas malaki ang problema pero hindi nagaapura. Yes, I need to stop acting like a whiny spoiled brat.
Yun lang :) Hahahaha parang ang konti ng nasulat ko..parang lang naman.
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