source: http://www.haribon.org.ph

I hope HARIBON will accept me as an intern/volunteer. While I'm still waiting for replies to the job applications I sent out, I might as well keep myself busy with more important things. If the organization does accept me, I think I'll be doing more of environment policy research--which is great!

Anyway..I found this interesting site while browsing through the youngglobalpinoys blog. WE ARE WHAT WE DO http://www.wearewhatwedo.org/

I need to...

- Be more responsible with my expenses. I don't want to write down the details of my bills for the past month. All I can say is...I need to stop spending. I seriously need to stop OVERspending. I've been spending so much (cash, plus swiping the card), and I haven't been checking regularly how much I've been spending. I got a call from my mom this evening. I was barely recovering from my cryfest when she called. I cried some more during and after we talked. I made my mom cry because of my expenses. Yes, it's that bad. I know this is my fault.

- Grow up.

- Be more aware that my so-called reality isn't so real after all. I hate sounding like a spoiled, whiny brat. A while ago, I sounded exactly like that. Crying over...ergs.

- Get a job. Seriously. Connected with everything else I've written...I NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE NA!!! God, Nicole...You're an adult. GROW UP.

:s

As much as I want to stop worrying, it's hard not to. Nadagdagan pa kasi. Hay Lord..please naman :(

win-win

Oo nga naman..In a way, win-win situation..Still, it doesn't change the fact that I'm nervous. I can't even sleep now. Itutulog ko na nga lang dapat ito...but no. I really can't sleep because of this.

...

I intentionally didn't sleep this afternoon so it'd be easier for me to sleep tonight. But no. It's 2 a.m, and I'm still wide awake. I was so sleepy this afternoon, but I really tried not to fall asleep. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because I'm stressed again...stressed because I'm not doing anything. Yeah.

I. NEED. A. JOB.

Please.

before I drift off to la la land

Yesterday was quite interesting. I woke up early to start making the icing for my cupcake orders, but I got sidetracked for a while because my brother and I had a huge fight--to the point that for a moment I thought he could possibly hit me out of anger. Scary. Anyway...I held my ground and had to be the ate. It was just really..tense.

After lunch, I went to my friend Annick's house to drop off the cupcakes. It was quite fun to talk to her. Wait, lemme see...Hmm..The last time I saw Annick was last September. Wow..It's been that long na pala since I last saw her. Anyway, I hope we get to go out soon.

After Annick's, I was supposed to go to Tagaytay but I took the wrong flyover..Hahaha! So I ended up at MoA. I stayed there for a few hours, just reading a book. I dunno..After the fight I had with my brother, I was way off my center and I just wanted to be alone for the rest of the day...or so I thought. On my way home, my friend Val asked if I wanted to hang out. Since I was already feeling a bit lonely (weird..hahaha!), I decided that it'd be a good idea to meet up with her. When I got home, I ate dinner and freshened up a bit before I went to Starbucks West Ave. I took a jeep going there..Himala! Hahaha! Val and I were at Starbucks from around 10 p.m until 3 this morning. We spent the entire time just catching up, since the last time we saw each other was June last year pa.

Okay...now I really want to sleep.

...

I was able to accomplish quite a bit yesterday. I paid the phone bill, went grocery shopping, and baked cupcake orders :) I finished baking early, actually. I started around 8:30 p.m, then rested at 11 p.m, then I resumed at 12:30 a.m..I was done by 2 a.m :) I'll sleep in a bit so I can wake up early to start working on the different icings--whattabout 5 flavors..plus the cherry filling for the Cherry Vanilla cupcakes.

I'm off the la la land... :)

la la la la la

Bring me to la la land. PLEASE. I can't sleep again.

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I didn't go to Quiapo two days ago. Why? Because I was recovering from a major disappointment--and I was in no condition to go on an adventure..with the 99% chance of me getting lost. What did I do? I spent practically the whole morning until early afternoon baking cupcakes and cookies. Then I did a bit of sulking/soul-searching at Promenade. Not really. Hahaha! I didn't want to stay home because lola was in quite a foul mood, so I left. I brought two books, two boxes of freshly baked cookies and cupcakes, my planner, and myself (corny..hahaha) to Starbucks Promenade. One glass of Basic Black Iced Tea and Twilight, a trip to the hospital (Sam Sam!! :p), Laing for dinner, sharp chest pains, and of course Teodoro distracted me for a few hours. Thank God. I really shouldn't be sulking over that. Yeah, major disapointment..but life goes on, right?

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My Vietnam trip was moved from August to October or November, since I won't be leaving this September anymore.

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I need a job.

quiapo

I'm going to Quiapo tomorrow. Alone. Without a car. Alone. With just a small bag and umbrella. Alone. Goodluck to me. Yes.

sometimes, I just want to be a kid again

Yup. It's easier to be a kid. Maybe I'm feeling this way now because I spent the afternoon at Toy Kingdom. Hahaha! Seriously, I went crazy with the hoola hoops. Yes...I know, I know. I've embarassed myself in public once again. But who cares? Hahahaha! I was hyper after eating not-so-good sisig for lunch, and I got really excited seeing all the toys. Plus in the Disney area, the movie that was being shown was I-forgot-the-title-but-it's-about-Mickey-Goofy-and-Donald-saving-the-magic-harp-Jack-n'-the-beanstalk. I like hyphens. I was so aliw with the hoola hoops I bought two. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

cupcakes cupcakes cupcakes

What time is it? Okay..On my watch it's 4:03 a.m. I can't sleep yet because I'm not done baking. Weaw...I was doing pretty okay, not considering the minor panic attacks a few hours ago, until I realized a few minutes ago that I forgot to top the apple cupcake batter with APPLES before I put it in the oven..so...I dunno if I'm going to bake another batch, or just try na diskartehan yung batch that I'm done baking. Being the OC person that I am, I'll bake another batch.

Okay..back to the kitchen.