It's just been a week since I last blogged, but I feel like a month has already passed by without me writing an entry. I guess I've been trying to control myself from just posting one and spilling the beans on everything that has happened in the past two weeks. For one thing, I don't really need to blog about everything. I've learned that blog entries are really subjective in the sense that people can interpret it in whatever way they want...even if their interpretation is so far off from what you were trying to say. So it's best to be careful and just blog about the safe stuff..though that defeats the purpose of a blog, di ba? I mean, your blog is supposed to be your journal so nothing should really stop you from writing whatever you want to write about. But no. The cruel reality that people can respond negatively to your entry makes one careful about what he/she is going to write about. So what's the point of having a blog when you can't totally purge? Wala lang :) It's fun to have a blog. As simple as that. When you just want to go on rambling about whatever, even if you leave out a few details--it's still cathartic.
However, I will still blog about how the past two weeks have been for me. Well...the past two weeks have been...amazing :) It's weird that I won't give my usual answer that things are just steady with me right now. Actually, each day I'm just surprised as to how I've been responding to circumstances and to people. Like recently, I thought my financial crisis would be over after this week (yay for me dapat)...until the two phone bills arrived. Good Lord...All I could say was, "What was I thinking???" Yeah. I was so floored with how much I have to pay (again). I've given up my post-paid account with Globe so at least that's out of the picture already. It's just really funny that after I opened both bills and computed how much I have to pay in total, instead of having a panic attack I was just really calm about it. The only thing I could say was, "I think I need to sell more cookies and cupcakes. Okay..I need a game plan." But you know what, God has just been so good. With my recent accountability meetings with Katre, and with what we talked about in our Dgroup meeting..I know that He will be my source of strength to get through this. I'm holding on to Philippians 4:19-20. "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen." I don't know how, but each day I'm learning that I should just fully trust Him. He's GOD for crying out loud. Quoting Katre from our accountability meeting last week, "Hello?? He created the freakin' universe. He can do ANYTHING."
It just amazes me that really letting go and letting Him consume me has filled me with so much peace, despite everything that has happened in the past few months. It's so humbling to know that no matter how many times I've stumbled, by His grace I am forgiven. Each day is also a struggle, but I'm just in awe with how He is slowly changing my life. Instead of settling for just taking baby steps, I've been deciding to take leaps in the decisions I've made the past two weeks.
Just...amazing :)
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