major backlog

I have about 5 months worth of backlog posts. To be honest with you, the past couple of months have been very uninspiring. It's not that there's a lack of material to write about, it's more of me not being motivated to blog because of my current situation (please refer to my previous entry). And I'm really sorry, and not meaning to offend anyone--but I really don't enjoy living in the province. Maybe I am just a city girl. I don't really want to sound mean, but the pace of progress here is just soooooo slow. Seriously. Imagine, just so I can somehow feel that I'm back in the city (even just a tiny bit) I have to travel almost 100 km either to Santiago City or to Tuguegarao. It's not that I can't explain what I mean about 'slow progress'. I just don't want to, since I might just say things that would offend those who live here. I don't mean to think or say these things out of spite, it's more of out of frustration because there could be so much more improvements and changes that can be done but for whatever reason things are going at a slug-type pace.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately in the hopes of finding inspiration, finding that spark to get me to write again. I'm not the type of blogger that writes entries as an 'obligation', because I started this blog as an outlet for me. Until now, it still is my outlet for creativity and emotions. Although I noticed that I'm becoming more careful with what I write. So ironic, considering that for something to be an 'outlet' there are should be no inhibitions but in my head while writing my entries I apply filters. And it takes me about 2-3 hours to write one entry because I have to go over it several times before actually posting. Gone are the days that all my brain farts are online for everyone to read. Does this come with age and maturity? I guess so...?

Anyway, I might as well try posting something later...maybe that'll start things up. Hopefully.

You think you get used to it, but not really

I used this as my Facebook status yesterday. Honestly, this is how I’ve been feeling the past few weeks. I’ve been living in Isabela for almost 7 months now, and it’s an up-down kind of experience. You get used to the pace of life, living alone, the independence. But there’s always this nagging feeling that I just can’t shake off. I miss home. I really do.

More often than not, career opportunities require sacrifices. I guess mine was having to be so far away from everyone. I know that I need to stay, and I hate to admit it I also want to because once we’ve passed the bump on the road we’re encountering now at work I’m sure things will be better. And I do want to stay because I want to see this project come into fruition and see its impact.

I can’t really divulge about the project, but it is huge. I know it’ll help a lot of people. Someone’s just being a huge jerk now which is why everything’s going at a slower-than-a-tortoise pace.  Everything in God’s time, I know. You can’t blame me for ranting a bit, though. I’ve been away from home for more than half a year already.

Nothing can ever replace Manila; nothing can ever replace home.